So I have, in fact moved to Portland. It was a strategic move to get closer to OHSU, where I plan on applying to medical school. I did manage to land a shadowing opportunity there, but what I haven’t found–a damned job. Paired with the fear of a bad economy preventing me from following my dream to be a doctor with governmental loans, being jobless and without a solid plan has been less liberating and more…well, stressful. I always thought of myself as adventurous, but at the moment, some solidity would be abundantly appreciated.
My mother has suggested stripping or bar-tending (jokingly), two things I am much too awkward to be accomplished at. I can assure anyone who asks that 1) my tits are not large enough or artificial enough to be of any interest to a paying customer (and being a ginger only gets you so far), 2) my alcohol experiences have been rather limited, though my smoothie making is rather genius, 3) Nobody wants to put a girl who is 5’9″ on a pair of 4″ stripper heels to march around a club of men who are insecure enough to have to pay for feminine attention. Tall, I’m told, is attractive–Amazon Warrior? Not so much.
I really belong in a lab, full of machines that don’t hit on me and other lab technicians that don’t mind me when I curse at test results. I have a potty mouth and a temper sometimes.
This year is supposed to be my window into the outside world before I disappear into school again. Where I was initially comfortable about taking a year off, I’m finding that I really don’t know what to do with myself when I’m self reliant with no scholarly direction. Even motivating myself to play Frida (the cello) has been difficult without my weekly lessons in the music building. I just feel so ….damn….unproductive.
So do pictures like this, which make me happy:
Dog sighs in protest.