My mornings

Dog: Jump Jump Jump Jump Jump Jump-on-sternum Jump-on-bladder Jump Jump Head-toss Howl Jump

Me: ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ

Dog: JUMP JUMP JUMP ROLL OVER SNARF HOWL YAWN-WITH-TERRIBLE-BREATH-IN-FACE JUMP JUMP JUMP HOOOOWWWWWWLLLLL

Me: Zombie feed dog, sit and wait for dog to eat

Dog: DONE NOW, MUST SHIT. JUMP HOWL JUMP HOWWWWLLLL

Me: Take dog out, navigating hallway and elevator with eyes almost closed

Dog: POOPING AND HAPPY AND SUNSHINE AND RAINBOWS AND HAPPPYYYY

Me: Inside now, please, still sleepy

Dog: BUT IT’S 5AM!!! SUN IS OUT, DOGS HAVE PEED! I HAVE PEED! I AM A DOGGGG!

Me: Hold that thought til about 8AM

Dog: SEIZURE MEDS PLEASE! THEY ARE TASTY!

Me: Yes, your highness

Dog: HAPPPPPYYYY AHHHHHHHHHhhhhhhhh!…..ahhhhhhhhhhh!…ahhhhhhhh?…. mini head toss……

nap

Me:  😡

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