Last night Noah and I went to the Elephant Revival concert at BrickWorks. They were so lovely! It was quite the existential experience- I’m pretty sure the majority of the listeners were San Juan Island’s most liberal. All cotton and leather and flowers and natural remedies. All proceeds went to keeping the San Juan Farmer’s Market open year round. YAY!
When we left, Noah looked over at me and said, “I think I know the secret to my life- I need to stop trying so hard..”
And all I could think was, fuck, me too.
Recently, I picked up a book at the library called Radical Medicine by Louisa L Williams. I couldn’t understand why I found it so utterly fascinating. About 300 pages in (out of about 1000), I realized it was actually a textbook for homeopathic schools. For some reason, it took me six hours of studying to finish 100 pages of MCAT study, but only an hour to read and absorb the theory of natural medicine. So I started thinking– why do I want so badly to apply to MD schools if I’m so interested in Ayurveda, homeopathy…home birth? Is it just vanity? Is it my expectations? Is it the expectations of projected society? If I don’t believe in it, why do I pursue it?
The deadline for taking the MCAT is in a month, and I’m taking it again…but is it a waste of money if I decide to run a different path? HALP!