I cannot offer instructions, but I can offer support. My boyfriend is transitioning from female to male (referred to as ftm). When I was trying to gain my own perspective, I realized that because I would never understand the feelings associated with being stuck in the wrong body, I was limited in offering help to my partner. My own acceptance of his transition wasn’t long or laborious, though I know it can manifest that way in some relationships. One method of personal development came in the form of blog stalking and informational interviewing. I may be socially inept, but I conduct research very well. After hunting down the partners of other transgendered males and prying out information, I’ve come to understand my role in the transition process: looking pretty, providing unconditional love, sexing, ego boosting, aiding in binder repositioning, shopping for boy jeans, forcing Boyfriend to take out the trash, and other general methods of moral support. Boyfriend and I do have a fabulous relationship even though it has been long distance for three years (colleges on opposite coast lines). He should start the more physical aspects of transitioning in the Fall. I’m a little nervous because of what it might mean to be long distance while his body goes through some of the more drastic changes. Everyone is different, and I’ve no idea what to expect.
I found these things inspirational:
Andrea Gibson, a poet that Boyfriend met here in South Carolina (I’m visiting as it were) has been truly helpful to Noah. He has a hard time putting what he’s feeling into words–and while being close to him puts me in a position where I can understand–his family is less than thrilled with his continuing transition. It’s hard to remind him the following:
-There are people who understand.
-We’re on his side.
-Gender is a social construct.
-His body, however wrong it feels, is still working, and is, therefore, of use to him.
-Ignorant people are not worth acknowledging.